Midlife Mutations

Stress kills

2009-09-29T15:53:00.002-05:00

Why am I so stressed all the time?

I know I do it to myself. I know it's my fault.

The word 'balance' has been playing with me for the last few days. There is no balance in my life.

No balance between fast and slow.

No balance between empty and full.

No balance between what I need and what you need.

No balance between what I want and what you want.

No balance between rest and work or play.

Is that enough?

I find myself doing for others but not doing for myself. I stuff food in my mouth and call that doing for myself. I go get a coke as a treat for hard work. Others can ask me to do things but I find it difficult to ask for myself or at least get mad if I did ask and it doesn't happen.

I find myself not even really having enough time to sit down and manage my diabetes. I'd been off my oral medications for a few weeks because I wouldn't take the time to reload my pill minder. I'd been off my insulin for a few days because I was 'busy'.

Stupid.

Getting off the insulin is deadly but the really stupid med to quit taking is my anti-depressant. I do much better when I'm on it in so many ways. I don't get down so easy and it curbs my appetite which then helps with everything else.

So, this lapse hasn't been as long as the others were and I only gained a few pounds and it will just take me a few days to get my sugars back down because they really aren't that high.

BUT I WANT A F'ING COKE.

remembering

2009-09-29T12:39:00.000-05:00

Zona Garrigus

September 03, 1956 - September 29, 2008

Zona Garrigus

Zona Rae Garrigus, 52, of Terre Haute, passed away September 29, 2008 following a car accident.

She was born September 3, 1956 in Brazil the daughter of Lowell and Carolyn Cooper Garrigus.

Zona graduated from Brazil High School with the class of 1975 and then Indiana State University in 1979 with a degree in Graphic Arts. During high school she participated on the volleyball, basketball and softball teams. She also participated on the softball team at ISU until retiring due to a knee injury. She worked for Machine Tool Service as a draftswoman and most recently in the Engineering Department for Duke Energy for more than 20 years. She will forever be remembered as a kind and loving person with a great since of humor who loved animals and was a wonderful aunt. She enjoyed watching movies, listening to music and playing sports.

She was preceded in death by her father in law William Ritter; grandparents Frank and Irene Cooper and Mildred and Eugene Garrigus.

Survivors include her partner Sara Ritter; parents Lowell and Carolyn Cooper; mother-in-law Mary Lou Ritter; sisters Marla Norris and husband Gary of Terre Haute and Felicia Face and husband Ronnie of Clarksville, TN; brothers and sister-in-law John and Jeanine Ritter of Wichita, Kansas, Stefan and Muffy Ritter of Decatur, Georgia and Mary Beth Walter and husband Ken of East Hartford, Connecticut; as well as several nieces, nephews and extended family members including Megan, Preston and Logan Face and Griffin Norris.

I don't find gall bladders amusing

2009-09-21T16:33:00.002-05:00

On Friday, I got a somewhat panicked call from my daughter, saying she hadn't slept and was in excrutiating pain. She had me call the doctor and we went in when the office opened.

The doctor thought it was gall bladder and ordered a sonogram. She was right. There were gallstones. From there, we proceeded straight to the surgeon.

I have NEVER, EVER had a doctor so thoroughly explain a procedure. In fact, he went into such depth, my eyes were glazing over.

I imagine she will have the procedure at the end of this week.

How dare he . . .

2009-09-09T09:11:00.002-05:00

How dare Obama speak to the children of this nation about the importance of education. How dare he?

How dare Obama try to get health care covered for everyone. How dare he?

How dare Obama try to be a consensus building president rather than try to ram things down people's throats. How dare he?

How dare he?

Chilly had a play date

2009-09-05T16:53:00.004-05:00

Chilly had a play date with his new friend Ellie. He had a great time, got lots of exercise and some lovin'.

He came home and crashed!!!

Of grandchildren and dogs . . .

2009-09-04T06:48:00.002-05:00

Things that have happened lately

2009-09-02T19:29:00.002-05:00

----granddaughter thinks my bedroom walls are canvas. I really should take a pic and post it.

----still working on training the dog. He sits, he lays, he stays ANDS POOPS in the house!!!

----still working. Some days it's a lot of hours some days not so much.

----granddaughter is back in preschool and loving it. She is going 5 mornings a week now.

That really is about all I know.

Things that make you go woo-woo

2009-08-23T11:21:00.003-05:00

Not really.

Just checking in with my faithful blog readers, both of you :)

Late July, I got myself a puppy at the Terre Haute Humane Society. He's a little chihuahua mix. He's very sweet and very rambunctious.

It's been a little bit of an adjustment for the granddaughter. She's got some jealousy stuff going on. She wants to play but she gets him so riled up that he inevitably ends up scratching her or nipping her and then she of course screams which escalates it MORE!

The cat at first was standoffish but now they play/fight continually. I noticed this morning the dog has many bite marks and scratch marks on his tender little puppy flesh. I'll have to remember to trim nails often.

Potty training is hard! But we are working hard at it. I'd like to have it accomplished before winter.

He walks with me some times but I've decided I need to do leash training outside the confines of my walks. I'm walking for my health and stopping continually doesn't cut it.

Hubby, granddaughter and I traveled to Indianpolis yesterday to have lunch with our son and his wife. She fixed a really nice turkey meatloaf and roasted veggies. I was impressed.

We also delivered their Christmas present. Yes, we know it's August, but they needed it now. We got them a new computer. It was a Lenovo. The same one I bought myself in July.

* Model Number: Lenovo K220-K3644-53581FU
* CPU: Intel Pentium Dual Core E5200
* Memory: 4GB DDR3-1066 SDRAM
* Video: Integrated Intel X4500, DirectX 10 supported
* Hard Drive: 500GB, SATA II
* Optical Drive: 16X DVDRW DL w/ 12X DVD-RAM Drive
* Card Reader: 16-in-1 Card Reader. MD, CFI/II, xD, MS Pro/Duo/Pro Duo, SD, SDHC, Mini SD, Mini SDHC, MMC
* Network: 10/100 ethernet connection
* Accessories: Keyboard and Optical Mouse included
* Operating System: Microsoft Windows Vista Home Premium 64bit w/ SP1
* Warranty: 1 year limited warranty

Other than that my, uh, part time job is keeping me really busy.

Peace to you and yours.

Tomorrow

2009-08-21T14:20:00.001-05:00

We are headed to Indianpolis, to see our son and his wife. We'll have the munchkin with us. Daughter-in-law is planning to fix lunch for us and I can't wait. I've never eaten anything she made that I didn't love.

We have a surprise for them, but she reads here so I'll share it after the fact.

Interesting

2009-08-21T14:19:00.001-05:00

We are about to get it..... duck!

2009-08-19T16:39:00.000-05:00

Food for thought

2009-08-19T16:31:00.001-05:00

not always in person but in spirit.

I'd like to share a poem with you that I heard at the funeral of Dr. Paul Siebenmorgen.

THE BRIDGE BUILDER

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came at the evening cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast and deep and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim-
That sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned, when he reached the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim near,
"You are wasting strength in building here.
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way.
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide,
Why build you the bridge at the eventide?"

The builder lifted his old gray head.
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been naught to me
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."

-WILL ALLEN DROMGOOLE

Still here

2009-08-03T09:19:00.001-05:00

... snowed under with life.

I've started a work at home, part-time job and what was supposed to be 3 hours a day is so far 8-10 hours most days. Trying to do that and keep the granddaughter has been difficult and there have been a lot of wee hours of the morning going on.

It should start getting less now that I've got a handle on what I'm doing.

Good news, NO GREAT NEWS!!!

2009-07-22T21:31:00.002-05:00

I got my lab results back today from last week and boy was I happy. In fact I was so happy, I cried. My numbers with the exception of my HDL were phenomenal. I was stunned by the HGA1c. I knew it would be down but I expect 8 or 8.5 not 6.5. What I am doing is working and no one is more surprised that I am.
I called the nurse and she was so nice and so happy for me. She said I was their star-patient. She kept me going, she was my cheerleader and I have her to thank for keeping me motivated.

I got the bolded results today. The next column is what they were on April 30th and the last is what the ADA recommends.

Total Cholesterol 144 April 241 (should be below 200)
TriGlycerides 89 April 355 (Should be below 140)
HDL 36 April 33 (Should be above 50)
LDL 90 April 137 (should be below 100)

HgA1c 6.5 April 11.5 (should be below 7)

	FAST		*2 PM*		*8 PM*
Thur July 16	83	55 N	*105*	0	69	26 N
Fri July 17	78	55 N	88	0	84	26 N
Sat July 18	79	55 N	*155*	12 R	*109*	26 N
Sun July 19	92	55 N	NT	0	*128*	26 N
Mon July 20	88	55 N	*110*	0	90	26 N
Tues July 21	88	55 N	*101*	0	*107*	26 N
Wed July 22	78	55 N	*144*	8	62	26 N

Granddaughter quote

2009-07-21T10:58:00.000-05:00

"I don't like to kill pigs and just eat them."

Doing God's work!

2009-07-17T09:16:00.002-05:00

Learn more about Cat Snap here. For the last few years, I've had the privilege and fun of watching cats come in and out of my neighbors garage as she volunteers her time, energy and resources to this organization. They have the cutest kittens for adoption and today they saved to wonderful beagles from be euthanized.

Can you help out with your time, resources or money?

Nurses and labs and . . .

2009-07-16T10:44:00.003-05:00

I took my blood sugar readings in to the nurse today and had blood drawn for A1C and a lipid profile. The nurse was really please and we didn't change any dosages today. So now I get to wait 2 weeks to bring in my blood numbers.

When I go in next time, she will set me up at the sports clinic to have my shoulder evaluated.
Late summer last year I started having trouble with . . . pain, limited range of motion . . . I kept thinking that it would get better, but it really hasn't. The worst part of it is not being able to fasten my bra in the back. I haven't had it evaluated before now because I knew that if I had to have surgery, like if it was a torn rotator cuff, they wouldn't do it without my blood sugars being in line.

	FAST	2 PM	8 PM
Thur July 9	88	89	115
Frid July 10	74	110	79
Sat July 11	79	134	100
Sun July 12	86	109	118
Mon July 13	95	118	135
Tues July 14	66	107	117
Wed July 15	109	144	97
Thur July 16	83

Observation

2009-07-15T14:20:00.003-05:00

It takes less time to get your blood sugar numbers out of kilter than it does to get them back in line. I had a few (too many) calories at bedtime last night and I STILL can't get my numbers back in line.

This is irritating.

Finally

2009-07-12T21:50:00.004-05:00

I am so grateful that I have finally been able to bring my blood glucose number down to a reasonable, acceptable range. I've been working with my doctor's nurse since the 29 of April to get these numbers. Every week she has put up with me coming in with my numbers and actually taken the time to see me for a few and go over my numbers and adjust my insulin. She has been my pep team, for sure. In the process of getting diabetes whipped into shape, there is no substitute for a great medical team.

Along with the insulin, I've been getting more exercise. Most days I have been walking for 45 minutes at least one time and some times, two times a day. Recently, my husband and I have been riding bikes together (He got a new Jamis Commuter 3). I am so out of shape and it is difficult for me at times, but today we rode over 4 miles. I was so proud.

The chart below shows my fasting blood sugar, my 2 p.m. (2 hours after lunch) and my bedtime number. My Tuesday and Saturday 2 p.m. numbers are higher than I want them but far below what they were when I started in April, which was 315.

Mon July 6	71	84	106
Tues July 7	73	140	118
Wed July 8	87	110	127
Thur July 9	88	89	115
Frid July 10	74	110	79
Sat June 11	79	134	100
Sun June 12	86	109	118

Working

2009-07-10T13:11:00.002-05:00

I'm loving my new job. What else can I say.

I have a nice boss. The work is challenging (at least it is right now).

I've kind of worked out what do with my granddaughter.

Employment

2009-07-07T10:39:00.003-05:00

After several years of not being employed at all, I've picked up a part-time, at home job. It will be
quite challenging for several reasons.

The first thing is that it involves a lot of proofreading of grammar and spelling, etc. as well as correct formatting for the situation. The manual has 44 pages. OY VEY.

The other challenge is time management. I have granddaughter most days all days and I suspect there are going to be times that I just have to give in to parking her in front of the TV, especially for the next several weeks. She'll get over it and I'll try to pick the best possible programs.

Another issue is that as far as time management, I'm used to doing what I want to do when I want to do it. As I learn the job better, I will be able to pick my hours, but for now I have to kind of work when my Pacific Coast boss is around.

Wish me luck.

Talking about great service

2009-07-06T17:47:00.003-05:00

Today, Daughter and I went to have a manicure and a pedicure. Daughter didn't want to go to Wal Mart well, because it's Wal Mart so we hunted around and came across Anna's Nail Salon at 905 S. Neil St.

We were MORE than pleasantly surprised by our visit.

The chairs were very comfortable and gave a back massage almost as good as a human. The Trans, who own the place, were courteous and friendly and did a great job. The salon was very clean and pleasantly lit. The cost was competitive.

I don't have any stake in the place but if you feel the need to get a manicure or pedicure, give them a try. They are open Monday-Saturday, 10 am - 7 pm and the number is 355-6135.

Thursday Report

2009-07-02T10:26:00.001-05:00

Every Thursday, I communicate with the nurse at my doctor's office. Usually, I just run by and she makes time to see me. Today, I just faxed my weeks worth of blood sugar results in. She'll probably call me later today or tomorrow.

I can't quite seem to get my numbers down where they should be. Like this morning... just because I was up until 2 a.m. making that doggone-good Sundae Cake, which of course included licking the beaters, bowls and assorted spoons, should have caused a fasting blood sugar of 115 or...should it.

I am walking 30 minutes most days and really enjoying it. I put my headphones on an take off and I love it. If something interferes with my walk, it irks me... really it irks me.

Anyway, here is my record for the last week. Friday was really stressful for a couple of reasons and we had a huge meal for dinner (I knew better). Sunday's evening meal was also too much.

Self control...self control.... self control... my new mantra.

	FBS	2P	8P
Thursday	96	172	102
Friday	100	202	198
Saturday	124	88	124
Sunday	102	181	206
Monday	117	180	138
Tuesday	106	194	134
Wednesday	105	139	105

I actually baked!!

2009-07-02T10:01:00.004-05:00

I never, ever, have considered myself a baker or a cook for that matter. I get by but just barely.
I can screw up the simplest thing.

Recently, I found a blog, The Good, The Bad, ok mostly bad.. that I adore and through that I found a cooking blog that has recipes that appeal to me and that I feel like I can actually attempt. The Southern Plate is the best cooking blog I've seen, not that I've seen that many.

For a week or so, I've been wanting to make her Sundae Cake and last night I stayed up late and made it so that my husband could take it to work this morning. (I kept out three pieces...one for me, one for my daughter and one for my granddaughter.) My husband WHO IS A COOK, is never effusive in his praise of anything I cook but evidently his co-workers have been sending him emails asking for the recipe. He forwarded me an email that said: I’m not a big choc cake fan (generally too dry for me), but that tastes goooood…like there’s pudding in the mix or something….had a little bite…good stuff, thanks!!

So, I'm feeling pretty puffed up today. I'm a success. The ingredients are cheap and simple... a boxed chocolate cake mix, cool whip (I used lite), chocolate syrup, nuts and cherries. This is a great 4th of July recipe for those family and friend potlucks and cookouts.

My next cooking foray will be her Crock Pot Chicken And Dressing.

Weekends that refresh

2009-06-29T09:51:00.006-05:00

What started out as a trip to St. Louis for a Cardinals ballgame became a shopping trip to Indianapolis.

Friday night we arrived in Indianapolis and checked into Fairfield Inn. Our room was nice and the beds very comfortable. Although there was a pool we never got around to getting into it.

Our son and his wife met us for dinner at Abuelo's. The food was very tasty and I would recommend it to anyone. We started our meal with Abuelo's Dip Sampler. Two of the three dips were cheese dips and they were a little better than average but the Avocado Cream Dip was to die for. The portions were large and the service was excellent.

After dinner we gave them our Cardinals tickets and a little bit of green stuff as an early birthday present for our son.

The next morning we headed out on our quest to spend money to stimulate the economy. Our first stop was Bicycle Garage, Indy which wasn't open yet.

So, we decided to head up to Fry's in Fishers and check out computer. Mine is beginning to show its age and is a pain some times. We found a Lenovo that will work just fine for my purposes.

Back to BGI where hubby looked for a bike he is interested in, the Jamis Commuter 3. They didn't have what he was looking for. While I was there, I started feeling like I was low (blood sugar) and I was. I ingested 3 of those hideous tablets and started feeling better.

Lunch was next on the agenda. Our daughter had recommended Joe's Crab Shack on a lake.
We were so glad we chose this for lunch. We had the Classic Steam Pot for 2, which included crab, shrimp, sausage (delicious), corn and potatoes. We thoroughly enjoyed the meal and the experience. An added bonus was this lunch didn't drive my blood sugars up.

Onward to the next bike shop, ICS. We really enjoyed looking in this shop. The people were appropriately helpful and it was just pleasant. However, they did not have what hubby was looking for.

Alas and alack, I believe he will be order his bike from Bicyle Bananas in Reno, NV. They have what he wants at a good price.

We headed home late Saturday, fully intending to meet our daughter and family in Arcola for the fireworks show. Given what happened, I'm glad we begged off.

Sunday morning, I fell out of bed and went to church, heard a wonderful sermon, sang uplifting songs and had my soul renewed. Pastor Brad preached a sermon meant just for me.

After church, daughter, granddaughter, hubby and I made a journey to Clinton Lake and made use of their wonderful beach. Granddaughter and I had a wonderful time playing Super Duck be chased by Evil Shark. (I was the evil shark.)

The day ended with dinner at Rainbow Garden in Champaign where son-in-law joined us.