Saturday, February 01, 2014

I hate weekends

On the weekends especially I struggle with everything including deep depression. And the weather isn't helping things. I attribute it to the lack of structure and enough things that have to be done to keep me from thinking. It's not helping that I'm going to work all weekend like I've done the last three. I'm struggling to not walk downstairs and grab something totally inappropriate to eat and eat and eat. I'm struggling not to burst into tears and cry for an hour, because then I'd really feel like shit. I'm struggling to not hide in sleep. My physical therapy has completed. I'm not any better but its my own fault. Just like every other area in my life I refuse to take care of myself. The PT assured me if I'd do my exercises for 6 weeks the symptoms would disappear. I see my endocrinologist Monday. My numbers won't be great but they will be better than the last visit. This is my last appt with her. I'm switching to my Family Practice doc to manage my diabetes. She did a residency in Internal Medicine which is fine with me. She's easy to talk and she takes her time and damn I may be wrong but she cares. And I am amused that she is my daughter's age. I liked the endo but if I have to reschedule my quarterly appointment it takes me 3 to 4 months to get back in. That's just freaking ridiculous.