Thursday, November 27, 2008

Unresolved issues, I guess


I think the election sucked the life out of me as far as blogging. Sorry I haven't been here though I continue to read the blogs I've always read.

We are not celebrating the feast today but will gather with family on Saturday to partake of the holiday eating and visiting.

Today, I am doing some work online and I decided I wanted some music to break the monotony, so I found the 70's channel on cable and cranked it up.

I don't know what the deal is but whenever I listen to music from the 60s & 70s, particularly the early 70s, I graduated in 73, I become very weepy and I don't know why.

Just a second a go, Sad Eyes was playing and I nearly lost it. Before that some Chicago and Summer Breeze by Seals and Croft. If Midnight at the Oasis hits the airwaves, I may not make it.

My teen years weren't the greatest years of my life in some ways. My father died in 72, between my junior and senior year. Yet, I had a great group at church that I hung with, which is where I met my husband.

Looking back, I can see that with the onset of puberty came depression somewhere around the 7th grade. I'm not sure if my parent's were aware. In, 7th grade, I often thought of killing myself and made half-hearted attempts. I would go through periods where I would stay up all night and periods where I would escape to sleep every moment I could.

In high school, I engaged in dangerous behaviors trying to fit in and to make myself feel better. I count myself lucky to not come out of that period in my life with permanent physical scars and not in the pokey.

I'm just not sure where all this fits with the music. (Rainy Night in Georgia is playing right now). I think it just takes you back to an emotional place with a vague nagging memory or something.

Today, I have much to be thankful for--a husband who is getting healthy and appears to love and like me again. Children and their spouses who are productive members of society and who love and respect their mother (I don't know why) and that granddaughter, that I adore beyond my understanding. In addition, I have a wonderful sister, who brightens my day when she calls.

Hopefully, I'll get back into blogging again.

Peace.